For just pennies a day, you could help this starving child become healthy again. Babies just like Juliet here are going hungry because they have a Failure to Thrive. Yes, she seems perfectly normal and happy, but underneath that jubilant exterior lurks the ever present danger of being petite. Yes, the World Health Organization’s growth and weight chart put her in the 30th percentile globally for weight gain even though their records don’t include starving nations, but here in America this baby is only in the 2nd percentile for weight gain. Clearly, she is not fat enough for America, and you can help thicken her up with a donation.
With your money, this baby can afford extensive tests that include chemical-induced sweating, blood samples, surgical endoscopy, and other unpleasantness. Surely, you wouldn’t want this little girl to miss out on being subjected to a battery of tests! Don’t delay and call now.
I urge you to send a check or money order to Sally Struthers and help this needy child receive the nourishment she needs. Call now 1-800-SAVE-JULIET or you can pay by credit card by simply e-mailing firstname.lastname@example.org. Don’t wait. This baby is hungry. With enough money, we can send her to daycare to plump her up.
This message has been brought to you by the Smart Ass Council of Indignant Parents.