It just dawned on me today. Story time sucks!
I know that I’m already looking at the alternative wellness culture through jade colored glasses, but I hit a new low in cynicism when I went to the free story time with my kids at the local holistic parenting center today. Yes, it was awkward walking past anti-vaccine paraphernalia and fliers for baby massage classes, but I wasn’t really anticipating how contemptuous I’d be of the actual story time.
First, the class was filled with new mothers and their barely crawling babies. How cute, right? Until I started realizing that the only people in the room who could even understand the story were the parents (and my kids, who ignored most of it); we were also the only people clapping along and doing the silly gestures too. It was absurd.
I’d like to have thought that my two comparatively older children were mature enough to concentrate on the stories and songs, but Sasha was turning the floor spots into makeshift frisbees and Juliet spent the entire time imitating the persistent yap of a toy poodle. Anyone who was supposed to hear the story either lacked the language skills to comprehend it, or the patience to appreciate it.
And many of these parents were doing sign language to the words in the story. I know that signing is supposed to be a symbol of progressive parenting, but it doesn’t make sense why parents would want to teach their kid a second language before they can even understand a first language. It really messes with my head. Does baby really need to understand how to say “grandpa” in sign language? You know? Just let her learn to talk in the language that her community can understand, unless she lives in a deaf community and then let her sign all day long.
I know. I know. I’m even pissing myself off with how negative I’ve become. Sometimes I need to come here and vent. Those moms were all nice moms. I could tell that they simply want the best for their kids (as we all do), and they probably just wanted to find a way to get out of the house. I really don’t want to judge them. I just want to share that story time sucks, and it’s OK not to like story time.
Read to your kids, though. As often as you can.
Anybody else hate story time? Anyone hate me now? Let me know.