Posted by: Ticktock | March 5, 2010

True Blood Stories

Sasha found blood in the toilet yesterday morning and rushed to me in fear that some injury had befallen one of us.

I calmly explained that mommy is messy this time of month, to which she asked, “What the heck?! Is she a vampire or something?” After I stopped rolling on the floor laughing, I explained to her that adult women make tiny eggs in their ovaries every month, and that when those eggs aren’t used they sluff out of the vagina.

Then, I showed her pictures of human eggs on the internet.

We talked about how human eggs are different than chicken eggs. She drew a picture of a human egg to give to a much embarrassed Mommy upon returning from work.

“Daddy, I just have one more question. What does ‘sluff’ mean?”

“Um… go ask your mother.”



  1. Nice.

  2. Awesome. This reminds me of when our 18-month-old daughter began calling her vulva “eww”. She’d been learning how to use the potty, but like many kids was having more trouble grasping the pooping in the potty part of things. So, as we washed poop off of her bottom and vulva (and occasionally off of the floor), we would calmly say “Eww, yucky. Poo poo goes in the potty.”

    Well, she started grabbing her vulva and saying “Eww! My eww!”. Of course we had no desire for her to associate her genitals with yuckiness – how unfeminist of us! So we sat her down and told her what her vulva was. She responded by deciding that her vulva was the greatest part of her body and running around the house (and the grocery store) yelling “Yay! Vulva! My vulva!”. Now at 20 months old, she’s gotten over some of her enjoyment of the word. But if we told her that blood comes out of Mommy’s vulva?

    I wouldn’t be able to pick up a gallon of milk and some apples without her informing everyone “Yay! Blood in Mama’s vulva!”. I guess I should be glad I’m currently pregnant, and all we have to do is gently inform her that her baby brother is only in my belly and not in everyone else’s (including the old man who lives a few doors down).

    • I. Love. You.

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